Real Fear
by C. Parmegiani
Summary: What if Tris was Dauntless-born? What if Tobias and Eric were initiates with her? ON HAITUS.
1. Chapter 1

What if Tris was Dauntless-born? What if Tobias and Eric were initiates with her?_  
I know it's short, but there's more to come.  
Thanks for reading._

**PART ONE**

I try to keep still as I listen to the names being called. I watch as one by one the people I've been going to school with for sixteen years walk up to the five big bowls and choose their future. Caleb's hand is tense and cold in mine. I hear his name called and squeeze his fingers before letting go. My stomach is tight, and every step he takes away from me is a stab of pain. Because I know I'll probably never see my brother again.

He takes the knife with steady hands. I swallow hard and close my eyes. He is placid, considerate, intelligent. He is not made for Dauntless; I've known this deep in my heart for a long time. I force my eyes open to watch his choice. He cuts into his palm and the blood pools. He breathes. And then tips his hand, his blood dripping into the water of Erudite.

The finality of it chokes me for a moment, but no matter how difficult this is for me, I want him to be happy. _We should think of our family. But. But we must also think of ourselves._

I don't have much time to think about my brother's abandonment. My name is being called. I take the knife from the man with the strange dark blue eyes and turn towards the bowls. Time seems to dip, and for a long second my eyes rest on the grey stones of Abnegation. But the bite of the blade pulls me back. I know what I am, what I'll always be. It doesn't matter that my aptitude test results were inconclusive. My blood sizzles on the coals.

Dauntless.


	2. Chapter 2

_I'm just kinda playing around with this idea because I absolutely loved Divergent. _  
_More to come._

**PART TWO**

The train is simple. I jump on with practiced ease. I watch as the rest of us Dauntless-born pile in, laughing and whooping. An Erudite boy doesn't make it, falling to his knees by the tracks. Factionless. I look away and tell myself that that will not be me.

I see a tall, dark-skinned Candor girl help pull in another boy. He's got the unassuming grey clothes of Abnegation. I remember the commotion in the Choosing Ceremony room when he transferred, the snicker of the other Dauntless-born initiates around me. I wonder abstractly if he'll last. He's got the same deep-set, strange dark blue eyes of the man who read the names and handed me the knife.

I can hear Max's shout from the cars ahead and stand, knowing we'll be jumping soon. Uriah shouts as he falls, following his older brother Zeke. I recognize a lot of the members and watch them jump; they're older than me, but I've grown up with them, watched them pass their initiation last year. I'm determined to be next. I _will_ survive initiation. I _will_ become full Dauntless.

With that thought, I leap as the train nears the roof. I stumble and catch myself, gravel digging into my palms. I'm on my feet an instant later. I see the Candor girl from earlier tug the reluctant Abnegation boy off the train. He looks terrified. They tumble out and hit the roof with varying degrees of success. The Candor girl laughs as she stands again; the Abnegation boy dusts himself off as he unsteadily gets to his feet, his face white as a sheet of paper. He's not the only one who has a shaky landing. An Erudite boy with long dark hair rises, looking irritated. Some don't make it at all. Rita screams and sobs; I didn't know her very well, but I shared a class with her sister, Carolyn, who is now seven stories below, dead.

I touch the Dauntless symbol inked on my shoulder, under my black t-shirt. This is the life I have chosen. This is the life that I want. I know it is dangerous.

Max calls our attention, announces the jump we must make. No one is eager to do it. I stare at the ledge, hesitating. I frown as the Abnegation boy steps forward and a ripple runs through the crowd. I suddenly want to be first, but he's beaten me to it. Max steps aside, looking on impassively. The boy stands at the ledge for a long moment and I see my chance; he's not going to do it.

"What's wrong, _Stiff_? Can't handle the height?"

The voice is cutting and unfamiliar, one of the transfers. From where I'm standing, I can see the boy's jaw tighten. He straightens his back, clenching his shaking hands into fists, and jumps. Once he's gone it was like he was never there. He doesn't make a sound on the way down. The only noise on the roof is the wind.

"Who's next?" Max asks. I take a deep breath. My turn. The fall is more exhilarating than frightening. I hit the net at the bottom with a grunt. The Dauntless cheer and shout as I climb off, taking my place next the boy from Abnegation. He's pulled off his long-sleeve button down, leaving him in just a grey t-shirt. He's much taller than me but his body isn't hardened the way mine is from a Dauntless life. I'm sceptical of how far he'll make it, but the burning in his dreaming, sleeping, waiting-coloured eyes says otherwise.


	3. Chapter 3

_Anybody else loving Veronica Roth's Divergent playlist at the back of the book?  
Thanks for the feedback. I'm just having some fun with this, but I'm glad people are enjoying it._

**PART THREE**

I walk out of the training room to break for lunch with Uriah, Marlene, and Lynn. That's saying something, considering most are limping. All the initiates practiced hand-to-hand combat this morning. I'm not sure why the leaders decided to merge the Dauntless-born group with the transfers, but we all train together now. We're spending more time than usual on each stage because it's such a large group. Obviously, the Dauntless-born are much better at this than the transfers. Most of them are more black and blue than skin-toned. But I know we won't have the home-field advantage forever. Lauren has drilled it into our heads that we can't prepare for stage two or three, and those are the tests that matter. For now, I enjoy it.

I walk down towards the bottom of the Pit effortlessly. Walking the paths on the precarious slope covered with jagged rocks is second nature, easy as breathing. I pause as we pass the tattoo parlour.

"I'll catch up in a minute," I tell the others.

"See you, Tris," Uriah says. They continue down, deep in conversation about the rankings.

Through the front window, I see him. The boy from Abnegation. I know now that his name is Tobias. He's quiet and meditative; I guess that carries over from his previous faction. He's done well, for a transfer. So far he's got a couple of wins and only a single loss. He's a better fighter than I expected. I've noticed Amar, the other instructor, taking particular interest in him.

Right now he's hunched over a chair, shirtless. I can see how his body has changed over the past week alone. Not as soft as he used to be. Heat rises in my cheeks, but I don't look away. Tori is leaning over him, latex gloves on, needle in hand. So the Stiff's getting inked. I'm insatiably curious to see what it is but I don't move. We haven't really spoken. He mostly keeps to himself.

I should have known that standing there, motionless and staring in front of the window, would draw his attention. He looks up, right at me. His dark blue eyes lock with mine, and I feel my cheeks get hot again. I turn away, feeling flustered, but I overstep in my haste and my foot nearly slips over the edge. Adrenaline shoots through me and I catch myself just in time. A fall like that would have left me broken or bleeding, at the very least. My heart is in my throat, my hands tingling.

I look up and see that Tobias has pulled himself up, his whole body tense, hovering over the back of the chair as if he was about to launch himself out the window and catch me. Very slowly, I start to rise. He watches and I can't tear my eyes away from his. For a moment, something like electricity runs between us. Then someone steps in front of me. I can't see Tobias anymore; our connection is broken.

I take it the extended hand, almost surprised by the kindness of the gesture. Then I realize its Eric, one of the transfers. He's already taken to the Dauntless life with devotion; I count at least five piercings on his face. In training he has single-minded, ruthless focus. So far, every single one of his fights has ended with more blood than necessary.

"Hello, Tris," he says. He knows my name but I have barely exchanged words with him. I have caught him looking at me in training a few times, though I can't imagine why. I'm not exactly pretty or developed. Definitely not the kind of girl that boys tend to look at.

"Eric," I nod. He still hasn't let go of my hand. I pull back uncomfortably, feeling off-balance somehow, and nearly trip off the edge again. He grabs my arm and smiles.

"I never thought you were clumsy."

"I'm not," I snap, steadying and detaching myself from his grasp a second time. Something about him sets me on edge.

"Are you going down to the dining hall?"

"Yes."

"So am I. Can I join you?" he asks politely. His voice is saturated with Erudite intelligence, the tone of someone who knows he's smart. I can't think of a way to say no civilly, so I nod and start down the path. As Eric falls into step beside me, I glance over my shoulder. Tobias is lying down again, but his eyes are closed. Something in me deflates.

I will the disappointment away. I shouldn't concern myself with him. Technically, he's competition. For that matter, so is Eric. I focus on my footsteps, careful, one in front of the other, and try to forget those dark blue eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

_I love this song for Tris: Titanium by David Guetta ft. Sia_

**PART FOUR**

I wake suddenly to the sound of sixteen people breathing. I'm used to sleeping with noise in the background – the Dauntless throw frequent parties at all hours – but whatever pulled my eyes open is silent now. I roll over and close my eyes, trying to fall asleep again, but something inside me is alert now and I can't.

Sighing, I roll out of bed and decide to take a walk. Maybe then I'll be tired enough to fall asleep again. The clock says two in the morning, so I don't bother putting on shoes and leave on the long black t-shirt that I sleep in. I look back before I slip out of the dorm room and see that my bed is not the only one that is empty. I squint to try to figure out who's missing from the two other vacant beds, but it's too dark. I shrug to myself and pad down the hall. My legs ache from my fight today, but at least I won. I never get tired of opponents underestimating me for my size.

I yawn as I pass under another blue dangling light. I wish I could visit my mom and dad. Parents never get involved with initiate training (faction before blood and all that) but it would be nice to see them again. I know they probably took my brother's transfer pretty hard. Sometimes I still think I'm going to walk into the dining hall and see him sitting at our table as usual.

I walk around the edge of the top of the Pit, staring down. There's a small cluster of Dauntless at the bottom, a couple more walking the paths. No one notices as I yawn and turn down another hall that will loop back around to the dorm. I pause to stoop and take a drink from the fountain halfway there. A scraping sound makes me straighten up, alertness shooting through me.

"Hello, Tris."

It's Eric. My stomach tightens as he steps into the circle of blue glow from the lamp. His voice is low; his greasy hair falls in his eyes. He's gotten another two piercings since the last time I saw him. I swallow uneasily and take a step back.

"Leaving so soon?"

"Just heading back to bed," I reply casually, even though my heart is thumping. I don't like the way he greedily stares at my bare legs. I take another step. So does he.

"Relax, Tris. I'm not going to hurt you." My back hits the stone wall. The water fountain is near a corner and he's managed to box me into it. A malevolent smirk pulls at his lips as he comes closer. My breathing is quick and shallow. I know I must run before he can get his hands on me. I'm faster than he is, I'm almost sure of it.

I burst into a sprint, but he catches me before I can take five steps. His arm snakes around my waist and drags me to a stop, pulling me back and slamming me up against the wall. I open my mouth to scream but he jams one hand over it, muffling the sound. He pins me to the wall with his body weight. I thrash, panic rising in me. He's so much bigger than I am. My only advantage was my speed; I won't be able to beat him in brute strength, which is what I need now.

"Come on Tris, don't pretend you don't want it." He's breathing heavily now too, one hand dragging up my thigh. His mouth is on my neck, kissing his way down. I can feel his piercings, like ice against my skin. I want to throw up. I bite down on the meat of his palm, as hard as I can until I taste blood. He rips his hand away with an animal howl, swearing at me.

"You'll pay for that, _sweetheart_," he hisses. His eyes are black. He jams his forearm up against my throat so I can barely breathe. His other hand is everywhere. _Why are you doing this?_ I want to scream. But I know why. Because he thinks he can. Because he sees me as small and weak and unable to defend myself. Anger courses through me. I see red. I am _not_ helpless.

"Get your hands off me," I wheeze, struggling to draw in a breath. What did Lauren say to me? Knees and elbows for more power? But I have no room to _move_. My thoughts race. I buck my hips to back him up and he groans. Disgusted, I throw my knee up. He sees what I'm doing just in time and shifts. I hit his thigh instead of the desired soft spot, but it's enough to get his arm eased off my throat.

"_Get off me_!" I shriek. My voice is loud and echoing in the dark hall. Someone will hear, someone _has_ to hear.

"Shut _up_," he snarls, his hand cracking across my cheek. My head whips to the side, spots swarming over my vision, blue, red, gold. But this is not just anger; this is rage. I scream in his face and throw my elbow up. I catch him on the mouth and one of his piercings tear out. He roars. His fury is terrifying; his black eyes go rabid. He loses all sense and for a second I am sure he is going to kill me.

But there's movement at the end of the hall.

"Hello?"

Eric freezes and then leaps off of me. He casts a wild glance at the figure running towards us and glares at me one last time before turning on his heel and sprinting away. I sink to the floor. My legs feel like soft noodles. My heart is still working overtime, my breathing ragged. I look up at my saviour.

Tobias.


	5. Chapter 5

_I know I'm moving kinda quick, but this whole thing is kinda focused on the action.  
__Thanks for all the positive feedback! _

**PART FIVE**

"Tris?" He runs towards me. I had no idea he even knew my name, but now is not the time for a revelation like this. His eyes are impossibly dark blue under the light, wide with concern. He crouches next to me. My hands are shaking.

"Tris," he says again. He reaches out to me and I flinch back, shuddering.

"Don't touch me," I gasp, pulling my knees to my chest. I rock slightly, back and forth. He freezes and pulls back slowly. His whole body is tense, taut as a wire. I can't look at him. I can still feel Eric's hands on my skin.

"Who was that?" His voice pulls my eyes up. It is low and soft, the kind of tone that is so much more terrifying than yelling. When I meet his gaze, a nearly gasp again. His eyes are frigid, icy with anger. I stammer, fumbling my words.

"Who did this?" he asks. His voice is still deadly calm with thinly veiled impatience. I blink and discover my stinging cheek is wet. I don't want to deal with this now. I want to crawl into bed and curl up where no one can see me. There is a long beat of silence. My head throbs and my throat aches. I know I'll have bruises.

"Eric," I whisper. His face tightens, twisting, and his hands clench into fists. He watches without trying to help me as I pull myself up shakily and I'm grateful. I don't think I would be able to handle that, his touch, no matter how well-meaning. "I'm fine," I say, taking a deep breath, ignoring the trembling in my core. "I'm going back to the dorm."

"Tris." There's something about the way he says my name. It's like hearing it for the first time. I stop and meet his eyes. "We should report this."

"No," I reply. "I don't want him to think I'm scared of him." Eric is just a power-hungry Erudite and he won't make a coward out of me. I will beat him. Even if he makes it into Dauntless, I _will_ rank higher than him. That will be my revenge. I think Tobias sees my resolve in my eyes, because he doesn't say another word.

I start walking again and Tobias falls into step beside me, digging his hands into his pockets. The tension never leaves him. The hallway feels like it stretches on for miles. When we slip back into the dorm, everyone is still fast asleep. As if the last half-hour didn't happen. I scan the room and see Eric's bed is still empty. My relief wars with my terror. He's still up and around, but I'm in a room full of potential witnesses. He won't try anything here.

I walk towards my bunk and Tobias heads for his. I stare at my rumpled sheets. Even if I get back into bed, I can't imagine falling asleep. There's a rustle behind me and I turn. Tobias drags his blanket off his bed and walks over to me with a pillow under his arm.

"Get into bed," he says quietly. My heart is in my throat again. _Is he going to sleep with me?_ I climb into bed and turn to look at him. He arranges his pillow and blanket on the floor at the side of my bed. A flicker of disappointment goes through me, but I understand his logic. If Eric comes for me, he will have to climb over Tobias to get to me.

"Tobias–"

"Go to sleep, Tris." I don't argue and I can't help but feel much safer with him sleeping there. I feel a rush of gratefulness. Everything is dark and quiet for a long moment. I stare up at the bottom of the bunk above me. No one else in the dorm has stirred this whole time. I break the silence with the barest whisper.

"Thank you."

He doesn't respond, but I hear him shift and I know he heard me. The slightest smile touches my mouth and I close my eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

****_Hey, thank you so much for all the positive feedback. I'm really glad to hear people are enjoying this._

**PART SIX**

The next morning, Tobias is gone. My bare feet hit the cold floor when I get out of bed. His bed is made neatly and he's nowhere to be seen.

I study my reflection in the bathroom as I get dressed. There's light bruising just above my collarbone from Eric's arm and more on my thigh where his fingers dug into my skin. A hard shudder runs through me but I shake it off and pull on my clothes. My anger rises again, burning under the surface. Today is the last day of stage one and I viciously hope to see my name next to Eric's on the board.

"Hey Tris, hurry up!" I hear Marlene call me cheerily from outside, banging on the door. "Last day to beat the shit outa the transfers." I step out and grin at her.

"Let's go."

We run into the training room where most of the other initiates have already gathered. I look at the board first. Uriah is standing in front of it and I step beside him. My name is not next to Eric's, but Tobias's is. I swallow hard. They are first to fight. It makes sense, when I think about it. They are the highest ranking out of the transfers. Fierce disappointment runs through me anyway.

"Hey," Uriah greets me.

"Hey," I say. He glances at me a second time, frowning.

"You okay?" he asks. "You seem on edge."

"Fine," I reply curtly. I _am_ on edge. It must show, and I try to force myself to appear casual. I turn and scan the room. Tobias is in the far corner, leaning against the wall, arms crossed. He meets my gaze like he knew I was looking. I drop my pretence and stare back with as much intensity as I can muster. _Ruin him,_ I say with my eyes.

His mouth twitches up, but his eyes have not thawed last night's frigid anger. They are predatory, cold and glinting. _I will,_ he replies.

Lauren and Amar call our attention. The arena is cleared. Tobias walks forward, every step smooth and balanced even as tension runs through his body like electricity. Eric appears, his calculating eyes narrowed. His lip is slightly swollen and raw from where my elbow tore his piercing out last night.

"Begin," Amar says. They circle for a moment, looking fairly evenly matched. Tobias is maybe half an inch taller. I can see exactly when Eric decides to attack. A shout gets caught in my throat, but Tobias doesn't need my warning. They spar, each getting solid punches in. Neither goes down. The room is filled with the sound of heavy breathing and the thud of flesh on flesh.

Then I see it happen. The shift, the breaking point. Eric is cocky; he spits and mutters something at Tobias, his face full of mocking malice, a spiteful snarl curling his lips. I don't know what he says, but I think I see the shape of my name on his mouth. Tobias's face changes, and something in his eyes makes my blood run cold.

In the same moment, Eric makes a critical mistake; he leaves his stomach and sides unprotected. Tobias throws his weight behind his punch and as it falls I know it will be devastating. I am right. I am close enough to hear the crack of a rib. Air hisses between Eric's clenched teeth and he takes a step back. That's all Tobias needs. He is lightning fast and merciless and utterly controlled by rage.

A glance up tells me that Lauren and Amar are conferencing at the other side of the room, talking in hushed tones. They don't hear it. They don't see it. None of the other initiates say a word.

Tobias brings Eric to the ground and pins him down. Blood runs from Eric's mouth and nose but Tobias doesn't stop. His punches rain down on Eric's face, chest, sides. Fury distorts his features until I hardly recognize him. Eventually Eric's hands fall, no longer struggling to protect himself. He is out cold, but Tobias still doesn't stop. I feel sick. My stomach twists and the shout bursts from my mouth this time.

"Tobias, _stop_! _STOP_!"

Amar and Lauren finally notice and run over. Amar drags Tobias off of Eric, who is motionless, still leaking blood that is too bright red against the mats. Lauren checks his pulse. The total silence of the initiates breaks and the commotion is overwhelming, but I can only look at Tobias as sense steals back into his mad blue eyes. His face is bruised and bloodied from Eric's fists, but Eric is still lying on the ground.


	7. Chapter 7

_One of the reviews for this asked "Why does everyone assume Eric's some kind of rapist?"_

_Truthfully, I haven't really read a lot of the other Divergent fanfiction on this site, so maybe a lot of people have already done what I'm doing. But what PrincessDorkatron42 said kinda got me thinking. I'm considering doing something from Eric's POV next, just to experiment. It's probably already out there, but I may give it a try. I'm intrigued; ideas are already floating around in my head. So thank you PrincessDorkatron42, whoever you are, for that comment. Because really, who knows what Eric is actually like? Or what made him the way Veronica Roth describes him in Divergent? I could have some fun with that._

_And also, as always, a HUGE, MASSIVE thank you to everyone who has left awesome positive reviews. They make me smile and make my day!_

**PART SEVEN**

"I think you should take a walk," Amar says, quietly but firmly. He lets go of Tobias. "Go get cleaned up." Tobias nods. He is still breathing hard, his face pale and completely blank; I can't tell what he's thinking. He stalks out of the room and the other initiates part to let him pass, even the Dauntless-born, who have seen countless brutal fights.

Amar announces the rest of the sparring is cancelled, and we are given free time to roam. No one leaves right away. We linger as medics rush into the room and crouch next to Eric with their supplies, surrounding him until I only catch glimpses of his prone body. I am frozen. I wonder if he's dead.

"Tris?" Uriah is next to me again, touching my elbow. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." My voice is strained. That's the second time he's asked me, but this time I'm not so sure of my answer. I blink and swallow hard, turning sharply away from the scene. "I'll be right back," I say, even though I have no intention of returning any time soon.

Uriah reaches out to me, a look of concern on his face that I really don't want to see. I slip out of his grip and nearly shove into Lynn on my way out. "What's _her_ problem?" she asks Uriah snidely behind me, but I don't wait to hear his response. Once I'm out the door I start to run.

I don't see Tobias, but then again, I'm not looking for him. I run down the hall and out to the Pit, sprinting along the path. My feet know where I want to go and carry me confidently through the precarious twists and turns as I descend. No one gives me a second glance; young people running up and down the Pit is common. If I was being noticeably careful, like I haven't been doing it my whole life, then I would stand out.

I go in through the back door me and Caleb found when we were fourteen. It's more of a crack in the tunnel wall than a door, big enough for a person to slip through but small enough and placed so it goes unseen. We used it to sneak out with our friends at night; I'm sure our parents figured it out at some point, but they gave us our freedom. Now that Caleb is gone, I'm the only one who knows it's there. That puts an unexpected ache in my chest.

Technically I'm not allowed to be here; parents and children are not supposed to have any communication during the initiation. I don't live at my house, I live in the initiates dorm. I duck inside the tunnel and wiggle through the crack carefully. I'm in my closet now. I breathe deeply; it smells like home, even in here, pushing past clothes on their hangers and the piles of junk on the floor.

I open the closet door slowly and peer into my room. It's been years since I've been here; it's been decades. I feel like so much time has passed. Like everything in the room has been moved a few inches off, but I know it's really just me who has changed. I cross the carpeted floor and listen closely for the sound of footsteps outside. I have no idea if my parents are home. Kneeling, I dig one hand under the edge of my mattress, feeling around. My fingers touch the edge of a notebook and I pull it out.

I rifle through its pages quickly. It used to be a kind of diary, but I'm not interested in what I wrote about when I was an angsty thirteen-year-old. Finally, i find the folded and pressed flat papers that I'm looking for. I tuck them in my pocket, shove the notebook back under the mattress, and make my hasty exit. There were probably easier ways of getting another copy of these papers, but this is much more Dauntless. The possibility of getting caught sends a thrill through me.

Once I'm out, I weave up and down other tunnels. This time I head for my own secret place, one I never shared with Caleb or anybody else. I push up a grate on the roof of a low-ceilinged tunnel, pulling myself up with ease and pushing the grate back over the opening behind me. I slight draft blows my hair back and I can see the round coin of light at the top that is my destination. I take hold of the rusted rungs of the ladder on the wall beside me and begin to climb.

At the top, there is another grate, this one not so easy to push aside. I struggle and imagine falling back down, slipping off the ladder and tumbling down the seven-storey-high stone tube I just climbed up. My bones would snap like dry branches. I can feel my pulse in my throat, and with one last shove, the grate is off. I drag myself out.

I sit with my feet dangling back down the hole, into the inky darkness, my arms and legs feeling like jelly for a minute. The sky is grey and overcast, the air heavy with a brewing storm. I reach into my pocket and pull out the papers.


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks to everyone for all the reviews! I read and appreciate them all.  
Special thanks to Caarooo for leaving a review after every chapter.  
The following is short but necessary.

**PART EIGHT**

_DAUNTLESS: THE BRAVE_  
_FACTION MANIFESTO_

_WE BELIEVE_

_That cowardice is to blame for the world's injustices._

_WE BELIEVE_

_That peace is hard-won, that sometimes it is _

_necessary to fight for peace. But more than that:_

_WE BELIEVE_

_That justice is more important than peace._

_WE BELIEVE_

_In freedom from fear, in denying fear_

_the power to influence our decisions._

_WE BELIEVE _

_In ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one _

_person to stand up for another._

_WE BELIEVE_

_In acknowledging fear and the extent to which it rules us._

_WE BELIEVE_

_In facing that fear no matter what the cost to our _

_comfort, our happiness, or even our sanity._

_WE BELIEVE_

_In shouting for those who can only whisper, in defending_

_those who cannot defend themselves._

The manifesto goes on, but I stop reading. My dad gave me this copy. The first time I read it was when he put it in my hands three years ago. He told me to memorize it. "We must never forget our ideals," he said. "Our morals." There had been talk at the time of changing the manifesto. Dauntless leaders were changing the standards of Dauntless behaviour. They made the training methods more competitive and more brutal, to test people's strength. Back then I hadn't thought much about it. It even seemed like a good thing to thirteen-year-old me; I liked it because I got to be wilder. Now I understand. I can't forget the look on Tobias's face. They are training us to be vicious.

_We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another. _Was Tobias standing up for me? In a way, yes. Did it take bravery to beat Eric like that? I don't know. Tobias didn't seem scared of the fight. In fact, he seemed to welcome it.

I remember my dad's face as he filled out the survey form about changing the manifesto, pinched and uneasy. The hushed conversations between him and my mother over that piece of paper. The leaders didn't end up changing the manifesto, but I realize now they didn't have to. The changes that mattered were made, written down or not.

I fold up the paper again, tucking it into my pocket and taking a deep breath. I'll see my father on Visiting Day; I know my mother will go see Caleb. Thunder rumbles in the distance and I duck down into the hole just as the first drop of rain hits the gravel on the rooftop around me. I drag the grate back over the opening behind me and begin the climb down.

By the time I reach the bottom it is pouring outside. But inside the Dauntless compound, rain always sounds like a distant tapping, tame against the roar of the chasm.


	9. Chapter 9

_Having fun finding mistakes in previous chapters and fixing them. Not.  
By request... thank goodness because I had writer's block..._

**PART NINE**

I don't see Tobias again until late the next day. He is sitting on the edge of his bed when I walk into the dorm with Uriah and Marlene. He looks up from a familiar creased sheet of paper; I tucked my copy of the Dauntless manifesto under his pillow earlier. I'm not quite sure what to say – thank you? Eric is still in the medical ward? – so I settle for silence. I walk past him, following my friends and meeting his dark eyes only briefly. Uriah nods at him and Marlene shoots him a flirty smile. I begin to scowl at her and then lock down on the expression, smoothing out my face. I know that's what Marlene is like. I've never had a problem with it before.

I'm surprised she has the energy to try. We started stage two today and I am still brushing imaginary feathers off my arms and shuddering under the ghost of talons digging into my shoulder. We all start getting ready for bed; it has been a very long day. But the moment my head touches the pillow, the dorm room door slams open and people with flashlights stream in.

"Everybody up!" someone roars. I recognize Amar's deep tenor and stumble out of bed with a groan. What are they going to make us do now? Living through one of our worst fears wasn't bad enough? "You have five minutes to get dressed and meet us by the tracks," he says. "We're going on a field trip." I hastily pull on my shoes.

"C'mon, Tris!" Uriah has the nerve to sound excited. "My brother told me about this; we're going to play capture the flag."

"Did Zeke mention why it has to be played at the dead of night?" I grumble, but can't help but smile. His Dauntless enthusiasm is contagious, waking up mine. Despite the fatigue, it feels good to stretch out my legs and run up the paths of the Pit, shoving past Dauntless members. We reach the tracks in record time.

"Everyone grab a gun!" It's Lauren's voice commanding us now, and I plunge my hand into the black pile next to the tracks. The ammunition is marked "PAINTBALLS." I grin again.

"Any minute now," Amar calls out to Lauren, and she nods. The train is on its way. I can already feel the rumbling in the ground next to the rails and sling my gun over my shoulder, so the strap falls across my chest. The box of ammunition goes in my pocket and as the train rounds the corner, I leap.

Once we're all in, Lauren speaks up.

"We'll be dividing into two teams to play capture the flag. Each team will have an even mix of members, Dauntless-born initiates, and transfers. One team will get off first and find a place to hide their flag. Then the second team will get off and do the same." She looks to Amar. He nods and takes over.

"This is a Dauntless tradition, so I suggest you take it seriously." The car sways and I catch myself against the wall. They split us up, and I find myself on Amar's team with Tobias. I still can't quite meet his dark blue eyes, even when I feel him seek me out with his gaze.

"You're going down," Uriah crows at me from Lauren's side with Marlene and Lynn, who gives me her usual glare. we've never gotten along.

"Yeah right," I shoot back. "Prepare to be destroyed."

"What do we get if we win?" a transfer shouts. It's the loud Candor girl from the first day, the one who laughed as she fell. I roll my eyes at her question.

"You get to win, of course."

The train screeches around a corner and we all get up and prepare to jump, Dauntless-born initiates jostling for prime position. Once we're all on the ground, Amar gathers us together. We stand in a semi-circle around him.

"Now what?" is the first thing he says, challenging us. We stand there dumbly. "We need to make a plan, right?" he prompts us. "Where should we hide our flag? Come on, mental preparedness is part of your Dauntless training, arguably the most important aspect. Think strategy." _Teamwork. He's trying to get us to work together._ It's a notion that doesn't come up much in Dauntless thoughts, but I can see how it's an integral part of being Dauntless. A debate ensues. I look around, trying to gage exactly where we are in the moonlight. Everyone is talking at once, but we're running out of time, I can feel it.

"Let's get moving. We have to hide it before they get off the train," I say loudly. I get nods of agreement and the group starts walking. We end up hiding it at Navy Pier, in the carousel. We argue about the plan of attack all the way there. I notice that Tobias is silent the whole time.

Everyone is talking so loudly that I have to shout to be heard, and still, no one really listens. Frustrated, I back away from the group. We can't do _anything_ until we know where the other team is, but how do we find that out? I know the best way to do it, if anyone would hear me.

Climb as high as possible.

I walk with light, quiet footsteps to the Ferris wheel. My throat tightens. It's so tall I can hardly see the top cars, but at least I know it was built to support weight and won't collapse if I climb it. There is a ladder, rusty and no wider than my shoulders, no railings to hold me in. My heart beats faster. Yes, I will climb it. I put my foot on the first rung, my hands reaching up.

"Tris."


	10. Chapter 10

_Thanks for all the reviews!  
Also, I know these chapters are short... but that's why I update so often, because it's only a page and a half or so. _

**PART TEN**

Tobias stands behind me, his gun slung across his back like mine. Somehow I am not startled by his presence. His eyes are shadowed, looking black in the dark. Slowly, he pulls a familiar piece of paper out of his pocket. He holds it out to me.

"Yes?"

"This is yours," he says. Our fingers touch when I take it and I hurriedly tuck it into my shirt, ignoring the tingles. "It was some good light reading," he adds. It takes a second to register, but a surprised laugh escapes my mouth when I realize he is joking. His lips pull up at the corners in a crooked smile. Then his face turns serious. "Why'd you give it to me?" he asks.

I'm thrown off by the abrupt change. I just look at him for a long time. His hair has grown out a little, maybe a week or two away from needing a trim. He is tall, taller than me, of course, but his shoulders have broadened and he carries himself much more comfortably since the first day. He stands motionless and empty-handed in front of me, waiting for my answer. I have the sudden urge to touch his face.

"Because I wanted you to know what being Dauntless really means. What it's supposed to mean," I say quietly. He meets my gaze without falter. My lips move on their own. "Thank you."

I see the understanding in his eyes. He knows I'm talking about Eric. I turn back to the Ferris wheel. "Better view of the other team from up there, don't you think?" I say and grab the first rung again.

The breeze at the bottom becomes a gust of wind now. The higher we climb, the stronger it will get. Tobias's hands find the rungs my feet leave. The carousel shrinks beneath us. About halfway up I notice his breathing. It is fast and desperate, loud, like he is trying to control panic. I glance down to look at him, but my eyes slip past him and fall to the ground far below. The height is dizzying, but I feel so alive. Every bit of me is awake right now. If I fall now, I will die. But I don't think I will fall.

Tobias doesn't seem to feel the same. His hands are trembling despite his white-knuckled grip on the rungs and his face is pale. "Tobias, are you okay?" I ask, pausing. He keeps his eyes fixed forward on the ladder.

"I'm fine," he says through clenched teeth. I look out. The land spreads out in front of me, varying shades of darkness. The moon drifts through wispy clouds. I can't see anything from here.

"We have to go higher."

"Are you _human_, Tris?" he says on a burst of breath. "Being up this high… doesn't scare you at all?"

I'm Dauntless. I was born to push these limits. I grin up at the inky sky. "No."

"We're almost to the platform," I add. "We'll stop there." I hear a stifled, strangled moan escape him as I start up again, but he follows. The platform has no railings. I clamber onto it and move over, dangling my legs over the side, so Tobias has room.

"Look," I say, finally catching a glimpse of a tiny pulsing light on the ground. "It's coming from the park at the end of the pier. We found them!" I turn to Tobias with a smile. Only then do I see the full extent of his fear.

He is terrified. His eyes are so wide and he's breathing heavily. Instead of sitting, he crouches with his back against the metal support.

"I can't be up here, Tris," he mutters wildly. "I can't. I just… oh God…" He's panicking. I can see the sense leaving his eyes, but this time it isn't rage that takes its place. It's terror. I move quickly, crawling over to him so I am on my knees in front of him, face to face.

"Tobias. Tobias, look at me," I command. I put my hands on his cheeks, forcing him to meet my eyes. I try to fill his vision, to block out the huge empty space around us. "Focus. You need to calm down. Pretend it's a simulation." He groans and I see the haunted look in his eyes before he closes them. Has he already faced this today, sitting in the metal chair?

I grab one of his hands and force it open, pressing his palm to my chest. His eyes flicker open. "Feel me breathing? Slow and steady. Match your breaths to mine."

Suddenly I'm struggling to breathe evenly. But it's not fear, it's him. Something about him makes me feel like I'm going to fall. Or turn to liquid. Or burst into flames.

"Better now?" I ask a few minutes later. He nods, never looking away from my face. I pull his hand away gently, suddenly feeling cold. "Good, because we have to start heading back down–"

I never get to finish my sentence. As I shift to get off my knees, part of the rusted metal platform gives out with a screech. I am not very heavy, so I must have put my weight on it in just the right spot. The platform lurches wildly. My breath gets jammed up in my throat; only half a mangled scream escapes. Tobias shouts and lunges for me.

"TRIS!"

In a split second, our positions are completely different. He has my arms in a death grip. I am dangling off the side of the platform, gripping the edge. If he hadn't caught me, I never would have been able to hold on.

"Hold on," Tobias says. His fear is gone, or at least receded very far into him. He is all business now as I hang helplessly. "I'm going to pull you up. One, two, three–" On three, he heaves and I fly upwards, scrambling back onto the platform. My heart is beating so hard it feels like it will fall right out of my chest. There is no polite distance between us anymore. I cling to him, my limbs feeling like wet noodles, and he wraps his arms around me, holding me tightly. For a moment, our hearts pound together.

"Thank you," I gasp, my cheek pressed against his chest. He just saved my life. The words seem woefully inadequate, but I am unable to manage anything else.

"That was _way_ too fucking close," he says. I feel his mouth move against my hair. "Let's get off this death trap."

I only realize how close we really are until I move to untangle myself. Heat rises in my cheeks and I hurry down the ladder. The climb down is arduous and shaky; Tobias freezes up twice, but we make it without another near death experience. We stumble our first few steps once back on the ground, but then confidently walk over to the group. I announce our findings.

"We know where they are."


	11. Chapter 11

Hey everybody!

THIS IS AN AUTHOR'S NOTE THINGY. DON'T GET TOO EXCITED. BUT IT WILL CONTAIN INFO ON WHEN UPDATES WILL BE COMING.

First of all, I would like to thank all of your for taking the time to read/review. I've been getting lots of feedback, which is AMAZING. So thanks, I_ really_ appreciate it!

I'd like to apologize for taking so long to update. I'm in grade twelve and this last month of school has been kicking my ass. Right now I have exams, so it will be **about one more week** before a proper story update. Once again, I'm really sorry, just been SUPER CRAZY busy with school.

Thank you again for all your support!

-Cat

P.S. Oh! Random extra... a while ago I entered a character for kingdomhearts91's Divergent SYOC fanfic "Only I Will Remain" and he got chosen. He came to life in my head and since I'm working on Real Fear I knew I wouldn't have time to write about him, so I gave him to kingdomheart91. Though I haven't been keeping up with "Only I Will Remain" so I don't know how good it is... Anyway, just thought I'd share my character sketch!

* * *

NAME: Fletcher Galloway

NEW NAME: Fox (an Amity transfer on the train (when they have to jump on for the first time he helps her in) to the Dauntless compound comments that his hair is the same colour as the fur of a fox she saw in one of the fields when she was planting; healthy animals like that are rare nowadays)

AGE: 16 (initiate)

TRANSFER REASON: He didn't feel like he really belonged in Erudite. He could imagine the rest of his life as an Erudite and there was something about it that didn't satisfy him (maybe it was the fact that he could imagine his life as an Erudite so _easily_ – there was no mystery, no excitement). He read the Dauntless manifesto and became obsessed, studying it incessantly until he had it memorized; he feels very strongly about the lines about taking action and not standing idly by.

PERSONALITY: Generally a quiet guy. _Extremely_ intelligent, the sort of mindset of an engineer (curious about how things work, how they are built, how to build them better, all with extensive background knowledge of physics and chemistry). Secretly has a _very_ short temper; he forces himself to control it because Erudite look down on wild displays of emotion (you can tell he's trying not to get angry when he clenches his teeth (jaw gets tight), his expression becomes stony, and he stands very still).

APPEARANCE: Reddish-brown hair, blue-grey eyes, smallish nose, strong jawline, just a few freckles, pale skin from spending so much time indoors studying. Tall (6 feet 2 inches) and lanky (got hit by puberty and shot up while his voice fell down). Doesn't really know what to do with all the height yet (feels a little out of sorts with his body as it changes). Wears glasses (though is not blind by any means) but gets contacts when they are broken. Eventually he gets some tattoos: the Erudite symbol on one arm and the Dauntless symbol on the other; a running fox on the left side of his lower back; his brother's name on the inside of his wrist in block letters. Maybe he pierces the cartilage of his left ear.

FAMILY: His mother's name is Joy (Amity transfer to Erudite) and his father's name is Michael (original Erudite). He had an older brother named Jonathan who died when their house burned down.

HISTORY: Fox was ten years old when the fire happened; Jonathan was sixteen, about to become an initiate. Jonathan was Fox's hero; he'd looked up to his big brother since his birth. Jonathan was intelligent but was made for Dauntless – he was daring; a risk-taker. It was him who started the fire, playing with candles. Only Fox knows that; he found the candles later and hid the evidence. But it was also Jonathan who saved Fox from being burned alive.

LIKES: _Loves_ the feeling of wind against his face, the rush of adrenaline, through his whole body, but that doesn't happen often as an Erudite. Also likes reading.

DISLIKES: Arrogance, bullying, inaction.

STRENGTHS: Besides being incredibly smart, Fox is also unbelievably fast (like the speed of his brain and body match). Good decision-making/problem-solving skills (which comes from his intelligence and analytical mind).

WEAKNESSES: He is absolutely _terrified_ of fire. Like, paralyzing, phobia type of fear (in the simulation/fear landscape he is tied down to a bed that is then lit on fire… or something like that. He never overcomes this fear). He has a hard time controlling his temper. He also has a hard time expressing his feelings sometimes because he thinks of everything so scientifically (he knows what love and attraction are in terms of the chemical reactions in the body but is out of his element when experiencing them). Also scared of being operated on while awake, death by hanging, failure, losing his freedom, deadly diseases, his family dying, etc.

ROMANCE: Yes! One of the Amity girls… the one he meets on the train…

ANYTHING YOU WOULD LIKE TO HAPPEN TO YOUR CHARACTER: There are a couple of things I would love to see happen to Fox:

Character Development: Grows into himself – gets comfortable with being so tall, develops muscles (broader shoulders, stronger core, stronger legs, etc.) Learns to use his temper to his advantage.Actual Events: Gets into a fight with one of the Dauntless-born. Before they didn't really notice him, but one of the Dauntless-born initiates decides to pick on him one day for his silence and for the fact that he still wears his glasses. He holds it together through the Dauntless-born trashing the Erudite faction and taking and breaking his glasses, but loses it when the Dauntless-born makes fun of his friend (Fox befriends the Amity girl who comments on his hair on the train the first time). He basically beats the shit out of the Dauntless-born and puts him in the medical wing for a few days. Everyone gains a new kind of respect for him, one that Fox doesn't entirely like, especially because it becomes a conflict between him and the Amity girl, who has a hard time with violence, even though he was standing up for her (can connect this to Dauntless manifesto). He doesn't really get in trouble for the fight because the Dauntless faction is corrupt in the way that they encourage viciousness since that new leaders changed the training methods. 


	12. Chapter 12

Hey everybody,

Thanks for sticking with me. I honestly intend to continue this since I've gotten so many amazing reviews, but right now is not the best time. I've got a huge case of writer's block and I'm also out of the country, visiting family. Things are a little crazy. Thank you so much for all your support, but I hate to say that Real Fear is on hiatus for now.

I'm really sorry.

Thanks again.

-Cat


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